I’m fat, 40, and frustrated. I’ve interviewed many people who have been successful in their transformations. They are inspirational, but it didn’t keep me motivated enough to stay on track.
I’ve met Bob Greene, twice. Certainly, one of the biggest fitness gurus in the world could offer me enough incentive to completely resist the urge to eat sugar ever again after talking with him. No such luck. This was after he told me that only 10-15% of people who begin a workout routine or start a path to wellness actually finish it. I decided I’d be part of the elite 10-15% of people–Nope, didn’t happen. In fact, the second time I met him, I weighed more.
I’ve read too many books on how to lose weight, how to work out, and how to succeed in trimming my waist not doing crunches. What is the problem with me because I know I can achieve the unachievable.
I’ve worked my way out of $20K debt brought on by a crap-filled boyfriend (another day’s entry), I’ve worked 50 hour weeks and done to full-time LVN school, I earned my RN while working 60 hour weeks, and I’ve earned my journalism/communications bachelor’s from an Ivy League School. I didn’t fall (completely) apart when my daughter had surgery at 7 weeks and I’ve been a stay at home mom to two beautiful girls for the past seven years. So, why can’t I lose the weight? What’s the problem? Honestly, I have no idea.
Problem is, I like to eat, well, I like the camaraderie that goes with eating. I love sitting around with friends, sharing some wine (or margaritas) and having a great meal. The looks on the faces of my family when I cook/bake something amazing, I relish (sorry for the food reference) the accolades of “Thanks Mom. This is really good” or in mom speak “Mom, you really love us to feed us such great food. You’re the best mom in the universe.”
I love the memories that are established around a table because all the senses are in high gear, the memories are vivid and truly unforgettable. I guess part of me doesn’t want to lose that, doesn’t think I can make more memories over lettuce and a carrot stick, but I’ve moved well into the obese range and I might be shortening my chances for memories if I don’t do something about it.
So, I’ve joined the Lifetime Fitness 90-Day Challenge. My hope is in 90 days, I am well on my journey to fit, 40, and fabulous.
Today, I didn’t scream when I stepped on the scale. That’s a good start for me. I even worked out afterwards, hauled it on the elliptical and took my dogs for a walk.
I’ve begun on a journey that will probably be more difficult that any other I’ve started. Getting a grip on why I eat the way I do.
For years, I’ve fought with myself, my guilt on eating. I eat, then I feel guilty for eating…anything.
So will this journey be any different? God, I hope so.