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Looking for a great read? Yes. Yes, you are.

Patricia W. Fischer

Author of Real, Sexy, Laugh Out Loud Romance.

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Fall Down Seven, Get up…just get up.

April 1, 2015 by PatriciaWFischer Filed Under: Health/Wellness Leave a Comment

2015 2 27 Chris Powell

Chris Powell, personal trainer

Unlike so many other years, I planned to make 2015 a far more productive year when it came to my health and wellness. Like so many, I’d allowed life obligations to get in the way of putting me first for an hour a day and each time I ate something. Comfort food had become a staple and my children were more than noticing my inactivity.
No more! I told myself. This time would be different, so in early February, I signed up for the Lifetime Fitness 90-Day challenge and bought the book by always smiling personal trainer, Chris Powell.

I talked to my friend, Stefan Pinto, a former couch-potato turned model, to get back to center when it came to nutrition.

2015 2 27 Stefan Pinto

Stefan lost 60 pounds and became a model. Pretty impressive story.

Now it had come down to me stepping out of my comfort zone and getting off my butt. Hence, why I chose a class I’d never been to before—A Barre Class.

Some would ask why I would even consider taking an exercise class that I’d never tried as a way to start off my better living.

Why not? I hadn’t done anything else since I’d signed up for the 90 Day Challenge two weeks ago, might as well do something new. It might kick start me into a new routine, a new journey. Also, a friend asked me to go and I figured we could keep each other in check.

This Friday morning, it’s only 32F degrees and it started to sprinkle. Certainly, they’d canceled class.

Nope. Maybe my workout buddy isn’t going…damn, she just texted me. She’s going.

Time to put on the big girl panties and just do this. On the way, I call another friend who’s taken Barre for a year now. She tells  me after the first class, she couldn’t lift her arms the next day.

Great. Yippee!!!!!!! I’m kind of feeling like Grumpy Cat right now, but nothing will change on the scale if I don’t so off I go.2015 2 27 Grumpy cat and exercise

9:10—I enter the class. My workout partner isn’t here. Did she cancel and I didn’t see the text? Maybe I can go to Starbucks…oh, wait. No, she’s in the bathroom, asking if I’m here. Shoot, okay, gotta stay.

9:12—I wander around, trying to find the equipment I’ll need for the class. A very nice lady notices me looking clueless and offers to help. “Get the light ones (hand weights) because she has us hold our arms up for a long time.” Holy cow! What have I signed up for?
I grab the rest of the supplies: Mat. Bar. Ball. Slidy-circle thing.

9:13— My workout partner arrives and we look at each other like, “Are we really going this?” It’s too late to leave and neither of us want to be the one to say it. I remove my shoes and notice that I’m in desperate need of a pedicure. Or I could just take off the rest of the toenail polish from the last pedicure.

9:15—The instructor is a lovely woman named Brandi. She’s got a beautiful body and even lovelier smile. “Okay, let’s get started,” she cheers. With such a positive instructor, how bad could this be, right?
Bruno Marz Uptown Funk starts to play for our warm-up.
Nice music. Good beat. This class will fly by I’m sure.

9:25—We’re still warming up. I’m scared. Despite Brandi’s upbeat personality, I’m afraid because she hasn’t alluded to the fact we’re even to the hard stuff yet. She’s asked a few times if “we’re feeling it?” A few women give a “Whoop! Whoop!”
I hate those women.

9:30—Warm up complete. The girl in front of me has worked out so hard, the band of her panties has now crept up over her yoga pants. At least she’s not wearing a thong, but she’s far better at this class than I am so I have nothing to scoff at. I also realize I need to quit staring at her traveling underpants.

9:40—My thighs are screaming and the only other equipment we’ve used so far is the hand weights—-oh wait, now we get to use the bar for balance. More pliets. I’m crying.

9:53—Finally, we get to lay down on the mat…wait, it’s a trick. Now we’re doing crunches with the ball between our knees and Brandi hasn’t stopped smiling. Am I the only one in here who looks like a walrus undulating up the beach?

9:57—Oh, side lifts AKA Mermaids. Prop up on my arm and lift my entire body? No thank you, I’ll go with the modified AKA I’m-too-damned-tired-to-sit-up-any-farther version.

After catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, it occurs to me that this is about the most ungraceful I’ve ever been in an exercise class.
I’m afraid to look at the clock for fear it’s only ten seconds later than it was when I looked before. Am I the only one in this room who can’t lift her ass off the floor in a side lift?

10:00—We still haven’t used the slidy-circle thingy. As many muscle groups that we’ve used, I’m concerned about which ones are left to torture. Oh, crunches and now scissor kicks. I see which muscle groups we’re doing now—still no slide-circle thingy.

10:08—Cool down. Thank the heaves above, I made it. I’ve finished it without falling over dead or using my inhaler.

10:15—Through the entire class, she smiled and couldn’t have been more encouraging. When Brandi announces she has a class on Sunday, I raise my hand that I’ll be there.
Seriously, I do because I’m high from the endorphin release. Plus, the idea of pushing myself through a class I did poorly has appeal. I tell Brandi I’ll be there on Sunday. I might crawl in, but I’ll be there.

She tells me she likes how I modified the moves and that she wanted people to watch what I was doing, but she didn’t know my name. I think she was being nice, but I graciously take the compliment. I know I looked less graceful as the hippos from Fantasia.

I ask my workout partner if she’s coming back and she says she is. That we’re gonna look super hot for the summer.

Yeah we are, but first, Motrin and a hot shower.

90 Day Challenge– Starting All Over…Again

August 5, 2014 by PatriciaWFischer Filed Under: Activism, Health/Wellness 1 Comment

2014 8 4 90-day-challenge

 

It may seem strange starting a new health regimen in August. I mean, the summer is almost over and the holiday feasts are just around the corner. So why on Earth, would I even fathom starting such a monumental task now?

Why not?

I’ve spent a lot of my post-pubital life worried about the size of my thighs and the width of my ass. This didn’t improve during high school when I received an anonymous note telling me I was too fat to participate in the school’s beauty pageant.

Looking back, I cringe at my short-sided image of myself. At 5′ 3″ I weighed a whopping 125 pounds, but I did carry weight in my legs. Still, I was far from fat. I let my self-criticism and that note to justify (to myself) to drop out. I didn’t have a chance in hell of winning, but I simply wanted to enter. I’d never done anything like that before and I just wanted to try something new.

As I grew older, my worries about my weight didn’t change, they just shifted. Oh, how I’d love to be a size 4, a size 6 and look like the tiny mannequins in the store window. Uhm, reality check–those mannequins are fake and didn’t eat and I knew that, but that didn’t make me want for my body type to be an unreasonable and unhealthy size. I starved myself for short periods at a time, but then would rebound and gain the weight back. To be fair, it was the late 80’s and unless you were stick thin, had feathered hair, and the most amazing blue eye-liner, you weren’t anybody.

I simply couldn’t shake the ideas of what I thought I should look like instead of embracing who I was: A strong woman who had more to offer than she allowed herself to admit.

Sadly, it took a real slap in the face (an ex-fiance who spent all my college money and threw me into $20K of debt) and crawling out of that hole to figure out I was far more than that number on the tag of my jeans.

But not to poop all over my weight struggle. There are good things that have come out of it. I’ve written a romantic comedy about weight loss struggles with four more to follow in the series. Here’s a shameless plug for my book in case you’re interested ————————————>

WeightingforMrRight_850

Plus, I’ve interviewed several of the Biggest Loser winners and finalists for different publications. All of them say the same thing: calories in vs calories out. Get off your butt and move.

Now understand, I have no desire to be a size 4 or even a 6. I want to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without feeling winded, keep up with my kids, jog a 5K, get a good night’s sleep even if I only get 4 hours, finish a class of yoga without falling over, and earn my black belt in Kung Fu. I’m not worried about the numbers on the clothes anymore, but the image I’m sending to my children. I don’t want them struggle with their body image like I still do, but I am no longer mad at myself for allowing me to get to this size, shape, and lack of endurance.

It’s who I am today and where I’ll begin and that part of me is only physical. I’m smart, talented, have a family who loves me, and fulfilling a life long dream of being a full-time writer.

It hit me the other day that my weight loss/health journey isn’t that hard and the size of my ass isn’t a big deal (excuse the pun). There are people who have true issues in the world. They are fighting like cats and dogs, coming out the victor and I can’t get up and exercise for an hour a day?

Families are trying to escape violence, a humanitarian doctor is infected with a horrible virus, and my best friend now has cancer again and I’m upset because I carry my emotional weight in my thighs?

Get real, put the chips down, and get up!

So, I’ve got three things to help jumpstart my success:

(1)I’ve purchased my Chris Powell Book.

(2) I’m wearing my 90-Day Challenge bracelet to keep me mindful at meals and to remind me to be more active.

(3) I’m determined to get out there and get this done.

Starting somewhere

Seems weird to start my challenge at the beach, but hey, I’m mixing things up. I wrote 90-Day Challenge in the sand, but I don’t think it’s coming up well.

Eating Guilt Salad and the Question of the Week

December 11, 2012 by Patricia W. Fischer Author & Journalist Filed Under: Health/Wellness 2 Comments

Win a backpack full of New Year’s Resolution Tools–Box of Shakeology, arm bands, ear buds, with a $10 iTunes gift card.

Okay, my friends. We’re only three weeks until the new year. Those resolutions might be sitting heavy in your mind or inching their way forward while you’re drooling over a plate of cookies, pie, fudge, roast beast, and/or any starch covered in cheese. No fear.
All of us who are trying to be more mindful fight with ourselves during the holidays. It’s a special time of year when your mom, or grandma, or that sweet lady in accounting makes that special dish for her favorite people despite her age or failing health.

2010 11 22 Boppa Jacks Photos 268

My fantastic Great-Grandmother who made the most incredible divinity and fudge–even after arthritis made it far more difficult. Do you think I ate my fill?
You bet I did.

2012 2 10 Evil Shrimp Cesar Salad

Shrimp Cesar Salad–usually contains anywhere from 550-750 calories, but couldn’t measure the guilt involved.

I call it eating guilt salad –eating something to celebrate or acknowledge someone’s hard work to make it for you because they care. Even if what they made for you is horribly bad for your health.

So what is your guilt salad over the holidays? What dish can you never turn down?
Will you eat your fill or will you actually enjoy the time with the person instead?

Post by your answer by Saturday and you’re entered to win.

Good luck and pick up a copy of Weighting for Mr. Right while you’re at it. It’s a great read while working out.

Launching Your First Day of Greatness

December 2, 2012 by Patricia W. Fischer Author & Journalist Filed Under: Activism, Health/Wellness 1 Comment

There’s always a great momentum to starting something new. Diving in, seeing what you can accomplish. The world is wide open and ready to welcome you with open arms, right?

Okay, not really. It’s scary, frustrating, and downright intimidating to start something new, especially when it has to do with your health. It’s exciting as well, but fear can play a HUGE reason why you haven’t done this before. As soon as you think you’ve got your brain in the right place, your sneaky voice starts whispering in your ear, filling your mind with doubt and recipes for comfort food like nachos. That and external factors like stress from work and family/friends who simply don’t get what you’re doing or keep telling you how to do it…but I’ll get to them in another entry.

Right now, we’re talking about you and what you want to accomplish. When I started this journey to regaining my health a year ago, I’d reached my end. I didn’t want to feel like crap anymore. I didn’t want to feel winded just trying to go up the stairs with my children, and I didn’t want to be that mother that simply looked like she’d given up. I was only 44 years old and could have a lot of wonderful years left. How did I plan to spend them? Sitting on my ever growing ass or getting up and doing something else?

Plus, my best friend had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer and had started chemotherapy. I’d promised her I’d do something to help myself.

I’m glad I did because a year ago I weighed 40 pounds more, couldn’t do much in the way of exercise without feeling like a wounded water buffalo, and my normal caloric intake had to be in the 3000-4000 range.

Today, I weighed in at 191, 40 pounds lighter, two jean sizes smaller, and a whole lot healthier.

After that kind of success, how do I start my next phase?

Me and Santa before the run

Me and Santa before the run

By dressing in a Santa Suit and walking in downtown San Antonio with hundreds of others in the muggy Saturday morning.

I’ll be the first to admit, the suit did little to compliment my figure, but the point was that I got up at o’dark thirty in the morning, got off my butt, and got to it. And not only did I get myself up, but my 7-year old decided she wanted to get up and go with me. After I told her why I was running, she asked to join me. Honestly, I think she just wanted a Santa suit, but she did get up and she did run with me. Although it was only the 1 mile fun run, it was a start and we got some good mother/daughter time.

She got to meet the Spurs Coyote and I got to start my journey to improving my wellness.

You’ve got to launch yourself forward to get where you want to go. I know it’s frustrating, intimidating, and downright annoying, but you’re not getting anywhere standing still. Change has to happen to get where you want to go.

Just like my heroine, Megan, in Weighting for Mr. Right, she had to move far out of her comfort zone to make things happen for her.

Keep checking back in and letting me know how you’re doing. I’ll keep up my end of the deal as well.

It’s May! It’s May! The lovely Month of May!

May 1, 2012 by Patricia W. Fischer Author & Journalist Filed Under: Health/Wellness 1 Comment

Julie Andrews Sings "The Lusty Month of May" from Camelot

The first of May is one of my favorite times because the hot summer hasn’t quite arrived, but the chill of the spring has faded. The days are perfect and sunny.
Plus, I’m counting the days until the kids are out of school and we can go cut loose or kick back for three months. I also know if I want to be my goal weight by my birthday, I have to get moving–literally–but that doesn’t faze me this year.
For the first time in a very long time, I’m looking forward to putting on a bathing suit and actually being outside without pause. Now, I’m not close to my ideal weight, but I’ve shown myself that I can do this. That I can lose the weight, improve my health, reach my exercise goals, and not fall in a pit of depression because I can’t eat chocolate cookies everyday. Yeah me!
It’s important to go through these phases, realize you are more capable of achieving the impossible goals of health and weight and actually allowing yourself to be successful.
One of the best ways to help yourself accomplish greatness is to know the food observances. Yep, I said food observances. Now this is two fold.
One, each month has National food observances and May is ripe with choices.
Second, you observe what you eat. When taking better care of yourself it’s important to develop an awareness of what you’re not only eating, but what’s available in abundance.
So, let’s see what May’s Food Observances are:
—National Egg Month
—Medieterranean Diet Month
—Grapefruit and Kiwi Month
—Carrots and Cauliflower Month
—Hamburger
—BBQ
—Salsa (yes the food, not the dance)
—Vinegar
—Potato and Lime Month
—Salad month
—Sweet Vidalia Onions Month

Now it’s it ironic that so many things you find in the Mediterranean Diet are featured this month in the food observances as well?

Of course, not all of it is healthy, but it gives you an idea of what to look for and maybe, just maybe a new way to create a meal that’s amazingly good and new.
Good luck!

Gotta Start Somewhere

May 1, 2012 by Patricia W. Fischer Author & Journalist Filed Under: Health/Wellness 2 Comments

Fall down seven times…get up eight. –Japanese Proverb

At Thanksgiving, I took a long, hard look at myself and didn’t like what I saw. Despite attempts to lose weight and keep it off, I’d bounced right back up again. Now I weighed in at 225lbs. Not only had I gained all the weight I’d lost, but a few pounds to spare. At this point, I hadn’t been under the 200 mark for years.
The last time I weighed this much, I was nine months pregnant. No baby this time, just a very unhealthy, unhappy body and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I told myself I would start that day being more mindful of what I ate, how much, and why.
We got through Thanksgiving and I kept thinking about how I would make any sort of change that would stick. I’m great at thinking about things for a long time, but not taking any action. In fact, if thinking and pining for a better body worked, I’d been skinny a long time ago.
So, I decided to start small–simply eat less. I ate about half what I normally did. After a few days of wanting to eat my arm off, the change started to be less annoying. Within a month, I’d lost 10 pounds.
By now, I’d gotten through the holidays and actually lost weight, but had other concerns. I found out in mid-December my gall bladder had decided not to work anymore so it needed to come out.
Then at the beginning of January, my friend, Stefan Pinto contacted me to tell me of a new program he’d created and wondered if I would be a part of it. He knew of my weight struggles and said this program would certainly work. I didn’t have to buy supplements or fancy prepackaged meals or join a gym–all I needed was my camera phone.
O.K. Sounds easy enough, I mean, how hard can that be?
Well, as it turns out, it’s very difficult because when you photograph everything you eat and send it to a group of people who are doing the same thing–there’s no where to hide.
You can’t lie to others who see what you refuse to–“Oh no those fries are cooked in canola oil so that makes it healthy.” “What do you mean iceberg lettuce covered in dressing doesn’t count as an actual salad?” “Broccoli and cheese are good for you, otherwise my mom wouldn’t serve it.”
Okay, okay–it’s obvious when it’s written down, but when I went through the junk food detox as it were, the tough love aspect worked the best for me.
Within days, I started looking at everything I ate and drank with a new set of eyes. Did I really want that? I’d have to take a picture and send it in–was it worth the critique?
Then the weirdest thing happened–I started thinking about what I ate! Go figure…actually giving thought to the food I used to fuel my body and the weight began to melt off. My clothes fit and were becoming loose, my mood stabilized, my skin cleared, my post-surgical body (gall bladder removed about 2 weeks into the program) felt healthy, and I liked what I saw in the mirror.
Time moved forward and then I realized I hadn’t posted anything here–do I start again? What if I fail and have to start over…again.
So I promised myself if I got through Stefan’s program and was successful, I would start blogging again, because I know there’s someone out there starting where I was five months ago.
Now I’m in for round two of the program and I’m making great progress. I don’t think anything of photographing my meals, but I’m always still thinking about what I’m eating.
Now for those of you out there who are trying to figure out where to start or when–start right now, where you are. Take a picture of what you’re eating, write down what you eat so you’re completely and totally accountable. Don’t lie to yourself or anyone else about it. Embrace the power you’ll feel, after the frustration and guilt of it all. Embrace how you empower yourself and give yourself an amazing awareness of what you’re doing and what you’re using to fuel your body.
Tomorrow, we’ll talk of road blocks and the things that totally sabotage your weight loss and health goals.
Remember, start now, right this minute to be more aware of what you’re eating. It’s one of the bravest steps you’ll ever make in empowering yourself on this amazing journey.

Time Flies

August 2, 2011 by Patricia W. Fischer Author & Journalist Filed Under: Health/Wellness Leave a Comment

Wow! I didn’t realize I’d been gone for almost three months.
In the back of my mind, I thought I’d only been away for two, not that’s really any better.
Life gets away from us all. It’s already August and less than a month away from school starting. So far, I’ve gotten almost none of my crafts goal list completed, pretty much haven’t accomplished much on my health goals, and I’ve yet to figure out a good routine for my daily life.
Yet, time continues to move forward. We’ve arrived into the third quarter of the year and I’m still struggling.
Losing weight sucks.

Despite my comments about goals not met, we had a fun start to the summer. We went to Disneyworld with our children and nephews. They  are truly extraordinary young men and I could not have asked for better family time.
Plus, thanks to the Disney Dining Plan, I managed to gain weight during our trip. Each sit down meal gives you an appetizer, meal and dessert–basically enough calories for an entire day in one meal. Have at least two of those a day and I felt grossly full more times than I can count. Add the two snacks a day and you’re almost feeling disgusted with the idea of eating. Yet, it’s still cheaper than if you purchased food off the plan.

Fun at Disney with family

About to meet Alice, Mary Poppins, The Mad Hatter, Tigger and Pooh Bear

Coming home from that, the last thing I had any intention of doing was stepping on a scale. My fat pants were snug. No way to the scale. Despite walking miles and miles each day, that food simply tasted too good not to eat. Then I convinced myself that vacation time was for calorie splurges and I’d lose the weight when I got back.
Then we started six weeks of someone in my house being sick. Each Sunday would start off great, only to have someone spike a fever by dinnertime. After two weeks, I felt nuts and felt myself start to eat to abandon, which led me farther away from my goals.

After all that, I’ll finally say it. I have to confess something. I haven’t posted in so long because I rebounded.
The embarassment of having to write about how I’d gone right back to where I’d started overwhelmed me. I felt as though I’d let everyone down, so I crawled inside of shell of denial and ignored any sign of confrontation.
Remarkably, I didn’t gain much weight, maybe 5 pounds from my rebound weight, but that did put me in the range of 225. It’s quite sobering to think I weigh as much as a professional football player.
What pushed me back to write again, to face my embarassment and crack the shell of denial?
Two men.
First, my father, who’s struggled with his weight for as long as I can remember. About two weeks ago, he and my mom were over, visiting our children, when he looked at me and said, “I’m worried about you. About your weight.”
I could have easily said “Oh yeah, well worry about your own before talking to me about mine,” but I knew his was geniune concern. He said it kindly and told me he worried about my health. Right now, he’s having multiple health concerns, some of which are from him being a former smoker and others are exacerbated by his weight. As a parent, he wanted me to avoid problems later. Thankfully, I never smoked, so I didn’t have that to kick. I can thank asthma for me never wanting to smoke.
Second, my husband. On Sunday morning about two weeks ago, he asked me how I decided what ring I wear on my left ring finger. He’d noticed I’d changed them around. Because of my weight gain over the past several years, I haven’t been able to wear my wedding ring with any consistency. During my pregnancy with Katelyn, he bought me a (fat) ring so I could at least look married and as a token of his love and devotion to a woman who temporarily looked like she’d swallowed an inflated beach ball. (I called it a fat ring, he didn’t.) After a moment, he asked if the (fat) ring fit and I said no. At that point, he asked me what he can do to help me because he “was worried about me.”
I have to give him props to even approaching the subject. Consider the position he’s in. He’s with a woman who’s obviously overweight and appears to be climbing up the scale. He watches, hoping she’ll make the changes on her own. She doesn’t. What does he do? Sit quietly in fear of asking about her weight at all or say something and risk a potential meltdown and/or adult tantrum?
He takes the risk and I do melt down. Cry for about an hour. Tell him how helpless I feel against the journey, how frustrated I am with myself that I can’t get it together, and how I’ve let him down.
As if it’s something straight out of a chick flick, he looks at me and says “The only person you’re letting down, is yourself. I want you around for another fifty years. I don’t want to be old by myself. I want you there.”
Sniff, sniff.
I felt a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Was it his kind words or simply being able to decompress through a good cry? Easily, it could have been both, but I know since that day, the frantic feeling of wanting to eat subsided.
My husband and I talked most fo the morning and I told him what things I struggled against. “I can hold it together until about 2 in the afternoon, then I just want to eat everything in the house.” We calculated how many calories I usually consumed by two and found I would restrict myself too much, then get to the mid-afternoon and go nuts, literally pacing in the kitchen to find something to eat.
His suggestion? “Drink a cup of coffee around then to help, then have a cup of yogurt or small snack.” So far, it’s worked. In two weeks, I’ve worked off eight pounds and I reset my goals’ deadline.

Down from 225lbs two weeks ago

In one year, I want the scale to report 140 lbs of very healthy me.
I know everyone out there has rebounded, some multiple times. I am well aware I am no different, but I had to go through the process of accepting my flaws and setbacks, stand-up and try again.
What is the Japanese saying “Fall down seven times, get up eight?”
Hopefully, this is the last time I have to get up and if it isn’t, I’ll get up again until I get it right.

One MILI Down, Another few to go

May 23, 2011 by Patricia W. Fischer Author & Journalist Filed Under: Health/Wellness 5 Comments

Starting to get a waist back I think I should have brushed my hair better or had more coffee before this photo, but still, getting the right curves back. A little less in the belly, but I'll get there.

 
 
 

I think I should have brushed my hair better or had more coffee before this photo, but still, getting the right curves back.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A little less in the belly, but I'll get there.

 
 
Up 1/2 pound this week, but down 9.5 for the 7 week MILI challenge

Okay, we’ve made it 7 weeks and I’ve lost as follows:
Weight-211.5 from 221
Waist 37.5″ from 38″
Hips 47.5″ from 48
Arms: 13.5–same
Calves: 15.75″ from 16″

So slowly but surely. As my grandmother said, “Slow and sure wins the race.”
It’s not the numbers I wanted, but it is change.

You’re fat and your dog is too

May 17, 2011 by Patricia W. Fischer Author & Journalist Filed Under: Health/Wellness Leave a Comment

1 pound closer to my goalThis week, I got a real eye opener.I took our fabulous dogs to their yearly visit. Both are fine and got their yearly vaccinations, but the vet started off our visit with, "Okay, let's talk about Lilly. She's fat."Yep, along with my expanding waist line, I've let my dog get fat, really fat. She's 25 pounds overweight and she only weighs 85 pounds. She should be about 55-60 pounds. Yikes!As I inch my way towards a better weight, I'm bringing my dog with me.She's absolutely adorable and I want her around for a long time. To do that, I've got to keep her healthy too. That means we've both got to move more, eat less, and simply do better. So not only am I on the path to wellness along with my husband, but our little dog too. She's not happy about the changes.Everytime one of us are in the kitchen, she comes in and stares at us with those sweet doggie eyes, saying, "I luuuuuuuuuuuve you." It takes a lot for me not to feed her extra, but I know I'm killing her slowly if I don't reel in what I'm doing. Just like me, I want us to live a very long, happy, healthy life. Our sweet Lilly

 
 

Rationale versus Sneaky

May 9, 2011 by Patricia W. Fischer Author & Journalist Filed Under: Health/Wellness 2 Comments

2 down, 62 to go

One of the most frustrating things for me when losing weight is the slow pace at which I do it. Now, rationally, I get that’s a good thing, but that other part of my brain, the impatient one, tells me it’s not fast enough. So when I come up with a 2 pound weight loss, part of me starts to wonder why I even bother. I mean, this much work for only two stinking pounds?
What I also know is the scale could easily swing the other direction and I could have a two-pound gain. Without what I’ve done this week, that is a for sure that I would continue to gain weight. I’m well into the obese range and heading into morbidly obese territory (or I might already be there, I just want to live in denial if I am). 

Again, I understand it, but I do find the journey difficult. Each inch, each pound, each body mass index number I drop, I feel it’s a tremendous amount of time, energy, and constant awareness of what I eat and I can’t lie when I say that it can make me exhausted. Just the thinking of what I’m doing can exhaust me…and that’s when that sneaky side, the one who tells me it’s not worth it, starts to talk louder than the rationale side.
The sneaky side is an opportunist. She doesn’t come around when I’m focused, when I’m having a good day or making great strides. She is patient, waits, and watches for an opportunity to start whispering. Don’t worry, I’m not hearing voices, it’s just a process I go through, so bear with me on this one.
The sneaky side waits until I’ve not gotten enough sleep, I’m overwhelmed with errands and housework, or my kids have me extra stressed before she says something like “Why don’t you have a plate of nachos. Nachos always makes you feel better.” She knows she can’t fight me when I’m focused and on track, but she does know when I’m tired and finding a reason not to go workout. These are the moments I find start to want to crater, give in, and pig out and she’s more than willing to help me find something to eat and somewhere to sit.

Bluebirds=Fit Friends

Until in last few months when something changed.

Maybe it was me finding out why I’d been sick for so long and I was on the way to recovery. Maybe it was the group of my new blue birds or my fit friends, that have kept me motivated.
Maybe it simply was the fact that I’d had enough of my sneaky side sabotaging my health and wellness.
It’s probably all these things, but I think most of all, I didn’t want to be that mom who wouldn’t be there for her children when they needed me. Be it me running to catch them when they fall into the pool or be there for their children’s birth, I saw my body, my mind, and myself fading away into a shapeless, unhappy blob of a woman. I knew I deserved more than that. I didn’t work this hard to correct my life years ago, earn my nursing degree while working three jobs, and later my journalism degree to fall into a Costco sized bag of sadness.
My husband, my children, my friends and family deserved to have me around as long as possible and I want to be around. Plus, I saw that I’d stopped realizing how much I had accomplished, what I had done in this world and that I was more than capable of accomplishing my weight loss/health goals. I’d sidelined myself from all those things I wished I’d done when I was younger and given up on ever achieving them. Why? I am still more than capable of meeting those goals and adding more. Where did it say I had to give up my dreams if I hadn’t done them by the time I’d turned 30?
So I keep moving forward, inching my way to a better self and for now, I’ll probably have to fight my sneaky self everyday. Then one day, when I least expect it, I’ll be going through my day and I’ll realize I hadn’t heard from that sneaky side for quite awhile. Now I know she’ll never be completely gone, but my hope is she’ll take a back seat and let the rationale side be in charge for awhile.

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Patricia W. Fischer is romance author, journalist, and retired pediatric/adult critical care nurse who’s made her homes in Texas, New Mexico, Louisiana, and Missouri. She has written for many publications including iVillage, Hot Mom’s Club, Modern Mom, Dallas Child, American Journal of Nursing, The Writer’s Edge, Nursing Spectrum, and Chicken Soup for the Soul Series. Read More…

  • Books
  • In Weighting Series
  • Tuscany Texas Series
  • Mystique Devereaux
  • Erotica (18+)
  • Other things I write

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