It may seem strange starting a new health regimen in August. I mean, the summer is almost over and the holiday feasts are just around the corner. So why on Earth, would I even fathom starting such a monumental task now?
I’ve spent a lot of my post-pubital life worried about the size of my thighs and the width of my ass. This didn’t improve during high school when I received an anonymous note telling me I was too fat to participate in the school’s beauty pageant.
Looking back, I cringe at my short-sided image of myself. At 5′ 3″ I weighed a whopping 125 pounds, but I did carry weight in my legs. Still, I was far from fat. I let my self-criticism and that note to justify (to myself) to drop out. I didn’t have a chance in hell of winning, but I simply wanted to enter. I’d never done anything like that before and I just wanted to try something new.
As I grew older, my worries about my weight didn’t change, they just shifted. Oh, how I’d love to be a size 4, a size 6 and look like the tiny mannequins in the store window. Uhm, reality check–those mannequins are fake and didn’t eat and I knew that, but that didn’t make me want for my body type to be an unreasonable and unhealthy size. I starved myself for short periods at a time, but then would rebound and gain the weight back. To be fair, it was the late 80’s and unless you were stick thin, had feathered hair, and the most amazing blue eye-liner, you weren’t anybody.
I simply couldn’t shake the ideas of what I thought I should look like instead of embracing who I was: A strong woman who had more to offer than she allowed herself to admit.
Sadly, it took a real slap in the face (an ex-fiance who spent all my college money and threw me into $20K of debt) and crawling out of that hole to figure out I was far more than that number on the tag of my jeans.
But not to poop all over my weight struggle. There are good things that have come out of it. I’ve written a romantic comedy about weight loss struggles with four more to follow in the series. Here’s a shameless plug for my book in case you’re interested ————————————>
Plus, I’ve interviewed several of the Biggest Loser winners and finalists for different publications. All of them say the same thing: calories in vs calories out. Get off your butt and move.
Now understand, I have no desire to be a size 4 or even a 6. I want to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without feeling winded, keep up with my kids, jog a 5K, get a good night’s sleep even if I only get 4 hours, finish a class of yoga without falling over, and earn my black belt in Kung Fu. I’m not worried about the numbers on the clothes anymore, but the image I’m sending to my children. I don’t want them struggle with their body image like I still do, but I am no longer mad at myself for allowing me to get to this size, shape, and lack of endurance.
It’s who I am today and where I’ll begin and that part of me is only physical. I’m smart, talented, have a family who loves me, and fulfilling a life long dream of being a full-time writer.
It hit me the other day that my weight loss/health journey isn’t that hard and the size of my ass isn’t a big deal (excuse the pun). There are people who have true issues in the world. They are fighting like cats and dogs, coming out the victor and I can’t get up and exercise for an hour a day?
Families are trying to escape violence, a humanitarian doctor is infected with a horrible virus, and my best friend now has cancer again and I’m upset because I carry my emotional weight in my thighs?
Get real, put the chips down, and get up!
So, I’ve got three things to help jumpstart my success:
(1)I’ve purchased my Chris Powell Book.
(2) I’m wearing my 90-Day Challenge bracelet to keep me mindful at meals and to remind me to be more active.
(3) I’m determined to get out there and get this done.