Putting myself out there

Here it is– me putting myself totally out there for the world to see.
I’ve entered a contest on Mamavation where I compete with other mommies to earn the right to participate in a seven week health challenge. The winner gets prizes and simply the pride she’s lost some time ago.
For about 10 days, I fought my ego on wheter or not to enter the contest. My plan would be to write down all the down and dirty of my weight/health/goals and honestly, I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to do that. Mainly, I didn’t want to admit to myself just how far I’d let myself sink. I knew I’d allowed myself to gain weight, but to actually know I weigh as much as professional althletes who are 8-12+ inches taller than I, well, I’d much rather stay in the land of denial than change.
Then I decided 2011 would be different in many ways. I’ve allowed my ego, my fears hold me back and not even try. I didn’t used to. I used to be fearless and then I made some life choices that didn’t work out all that great for me. I curled up in a ball and waited for the world to go by for years. I still worked, I was still productive, but I didn’t participate in the world like I should have. I wasn’t proactive and I found myself in a very familiar situation last week when I couldn’t decide if I wanted to take charge or not.
But I faced my fears and started small. I only wrote down what I’d say and that lead to me practicing what I’d tell people, then it moved to recording myself and sending my┬ávideo in.
Now I’ve finaled and the excitement of the possibility of participating in this competition is far more than the fear or the “oh shit what have I gotten myself into” moment.
It would be so easy for me to run and hide, but quite honestly, I’m ready for the change.

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